Inevitably Boring

I don’t want to age. I want to make that abundantly clear; if I had it my way, I would stay where I am mentally and physically for the rest of my life. Essentially, I want to be an immature highlander.

This with a Midwestern accent.

But one constant issue that has been plaguing me at work; everyone is as boring as flat diet coke.  All of them are a solid five or more years older than me, with either kids, a fiance, or a steady relationship with NPR.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these things, let me make that abundantly clear.  But, when that’s all anyone really knows about you, all you really talk about…it becomes your identity.

I know what your thinking “Bastard Archaeologist, you haven’t tried to get to know these people; you’re a judgmental whore asshole!”. Well, dear reader, your wrong. I have unleashed my personality bit by bit.  For example, this past week, when discussing the issues with politicians, I suggested ‘election by Hunger-games’.

He would win every election.

I was met with looks ranging from mild disgust to less mild disgust.  One of  the more outspoken ladies looked me in the eye, asked me if I seriously enjoyed watching people get murdered; when the other day she was talking about the latest episode of a “Game of Thrones”.  Whether or not I enjoy watching people die is not the issue, but if you watch HBO…you don’t get to judge me.

If you watch this show, you love watching people die.

The conversation then turned to the latest ‘chapter a day’ on NPR.  I’m not kidding.  We could be discussing how a “Biden vs. Palin Vice-presidential smack-down” could have been the best TV in history, and instead we were talking about a woman who reads books aloud on public radio.  And by the way, my money is on Biden unless Palin uses teeth…so, there’s that.

The bottom line, I’m afraid of aging if it means I turn into someone who is dull. I would rather receive graphic texts from a geriatric convict than let that happen.


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